Vitality is Movement

MyLife Essay Contest

Lots of children are afraid of growing up. Maybe they’ve been influenced too much by J.M. Barrie, or maybe they have particularly unimaginative parents, but their fear isn’t unfounded. Somewhere between the rapid development of childhood, the chaos of adolescence, and the wonder of becoming independent, humans find safe nesting spots in the tree of life and prefer to stay there. Goodbye excitement and change, hello dreary offices and tax returns and ungrateful children. No longer are the nesters seeking thrills and triumphs. No longer do they thirst for experiences and growth.

This issue is so subtle that most won’t recognize it within themselves, yet there is hardly a person who isn’t afflicted. Unhealthy self-acceptance comes in the guise of laziness, complacency, and apathy, and what it causes is stagnation. Something happens to the bounding teenager who was so eager to invent himself, something which stunts his constant growth, and turns him into the boring grown-up.

The Chassidic dictionary gives new meaning to the word “grown-up,” which means something vastly different than what Peter Pan thought. Through understanding that self-improvement doesn’t end when one reaches thirty, and that it’s not only possible, but necessary, we can find more happiness and fulfillment in our lives.

Tanya is based on the idea that we can always be better people than we think we can. From the first chapter, where it’s written, “mashbi’in oso tehi tzadik—we promised [G-d] to be a righteous person and not a wicked one”. The word “mashbi’in,” which is generally translated as “promised,” can also mean “sated,” to show that from before birth, we’ve been infused with the ability to be a Tzaddik, something which seems extraordinarily beyond our reach.

This encapsulates the process Chassidus encourages us to go through. A Tzaddik is the epitome of joy; he’s the person who overcomes bad experience, who has no anxiety, depression, anger problems, or insecurities. A Tzaddik is someone who has such a clear connection with G-d that he doesn’t even desire to do wrong.

To someone suffering from depression, this axiom proves to him that he can overcome his sadness. For one with a selfish streak, he is insured that, if he works hard enough, he can rid himself of this negative trait. If we know we can be Tzaddikim, the most joyous, fearless and unburdened people, then we can do anything. Those who are already mentally and emotionally healthy aren’t excluded in this verse, because they, too, have areas to improve.

Life is no fairy tale though, and Chassidus never claims it to be, which is why the next sentence of the chapter is, “and even if the whole world judging you by your actions tells you that you are righteous, regard yourself as wicked.” True, everyone has the potential to gain the clarity of the Tzaddik, but it’ll be a lifelong process, because there is still negative bit inside of them to be dealt with.

This is the two-step program toward personal fulfillment: acknowledge your weaknesses in order to transform them into strengths.

Although Jung and Freud came up with their theories years ago, only recently—with the aid of Google and easy access to sources—have they made an impression on the general public. One doesn’t have to consult a psychoanalyst to understand who he is; he can run a quick web search and find articles, forums, and blogs discussing people just like him. These tools bring people in touch with their psyches, yet they also have people saying many of the same phrases. “Accept me for who I am,” “I’m perfectly imperfect,” and “I’m only human,” are popular, and, to a certain point, true. G-d didn’t create humans defectless, because He wanted them to toil and struggle and overcome the very nature He implanted within them. The problem is that people aren’t supposed to settle for who they are today, because no matter how old and enlightened they are, they’re not yet Tzaddikim.

The Rebbe Rashab explains in the Chassidic discourse, Heichaltzu, that each person possesses a trait, and in the hidden recesses of his character its exact opposite. Meaning, despite our tendencies, we also have the ability to act in ways that seem unlike us. This is mind blowing, and somewhat unsettling, because it makes us question the labels that we’ve pasted on ourselves. “I’m passionate, therefore it’s very easy for me to get angry. I’m a deep thinker, therefore I don’t have patience for shallow people.”

Self-acceptance isn’t supposed to make us feel satisfied with ourselves. It’s supposed to give us a wholesome base to work on the next step of growth. By being mindful of the fact that Hashem wants us to toil to reach our goals, we can realize that it’s not enough to just know ourselves; we have to invent ourselves.

1. Imagine yourself in your most ideal state. What are you wearing? Who are you speaking to? What challenge of yours has dissolved?
2. Practice mindfulness: Understand what you can improve If you find yourself delving too deeply into your faults, repeat to yourself that G-d created you in order for you to refine yourself.
3. Remember that every step taken is a small The only one measuring your success is you and G-d. Each person’s “Tzaddik” is relative to himself, and there is no objective way to achieve this state. The one rule is: hard work.

Through fighting the constant battle with our nature, we prove to ourselves that we can keep the promise we made in Heaven so many years ago, and that we do have the ability to win the never-ending battle within. The constant work needed to transcend negative character traits is an exercise which keeps us younger, just like physical activity does for the body, and through toiling toward self-refinement, we can be “grown-ups” who never stop growing.