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MyLife Essay Contest

In the following essay we’ll explore the challenge of being confused about what our lives depend on. Media, commercial advertising and society at large leads us to believe that the quality of our lives depends on people and things outside of ourselves. This is delusional. The truth is that we are dependent exclusively on Hashem.

In the maamar of Shir HaMaalos Mima’amakim, the Alter Rebbe advises: Become deeply aware of your G-dly empowerment and your G-dly life-force. By following this advice and developing a strong sense of awareness about our truth, we can act on the truth of Who we depend on. We can live with genuine empowerment and fulfillment.

The Delusion of Dependency

“There are three things I need every day: bread, water and someone to blame.” My friend who quoted this line to me was joking, of course. We were talking about human needs in today’s photoshopped, fast-paced world. As a society, we live with a constant bombardment of commercial advertising that draws our attention away from ourselves and tells us what we need in order to live. We instinctively look outward for solutions to our challenges. When we’re feeling pain, we operate as if we need someone or something to get us out of it. When we aren’t happy in a relationship, we need the other person to change. This mindset disconnects us from our selves and holds us back from emotional strength and wellness.

Turning to people or things as a primary way to satisfy our emotional needs is part of today’s culture. We don’t just want love, approval, peace, comfort and pleasures. We need it. Badly. At all costs. Whether or not we see ourselves as being dependent on people or things, the very air we breathe in today’s world contains the tendency to developdelusional dependence.

This can perhaps explain the strange dichotomy of our generation: We have more access to comforts and pleasures than ever before in history. Yet we are also the most medicated, dissatisfied, disconnected, drugged, depressed and obese society that has ever lived.

The Alter Rebbe’s Advice

In a maamer beginning with the words, “Shir HaMaalos MiMaamakim,” said by the Alter Rebbe on Shabbas Shuva תקנ”ה and printed in Likkutei Torah, we find guidance that protects us from the delusion of dependency. First, the Alter Rebbe defines a Yisroel.“Yisroel is li rosh (my head.) This is the part of the neshoma that is above the body and above intellect. It is completely unified with Hashem – it can never ever be separated. It is present in every single Yisroel, even one who is lowly.”The Alter Rebbe then explains the meaning of the words “Shema Yisroel, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem echod.” (Hear Yisroel, Hashem our G-d, Hashem is one.) If these words would only be about Hashem, we wouldn’t need to repeat His name three times. The verse could simply state: Hear Yisroel, Hashem is one. But the verse is not just telling us about Hashem. It is telling us about ourselves. Every person must say to his soul:

Shema Yisroel: Listen and understand. You are a Yisroel.

(and because you’re a Yisroel, the meaning of which is described above,)

Hashem Elokeinu: The Infinite, above time and space Almighty G-d is our personal Power. (Not just that He has power over us, but that) He is our Eloka – the force that powers us and invigorates us.

(And in case you think that this power is present within you in a way that is similar to the presence of the soul; the body and soul are two separate entities… In case you think that your existence is separate from the Infinite G-dly power that’s within you… Know that the presence of this G-dly power is different. Because – )

Hashem Echod: Hashem is One. And your soul, which is called Yisroel, is completely One with Him.The Alter Rebbe further advises us to reflect deeply on this idea and that this will arouse within us a love for Hashem. The words of Shema are followed by: “And you shall love Hashem, your G-d.” What’s the connection? And why do we specifically say “Hashem, your G-d?” Because when we absorb the fact that He is our Eloka – that He is constantly powering our lives, we will naturally be drawn to love Him.

Applying the Alter Rebbe’s Guidance

We live in a world in which G-d – and our G-dly empowerment – is concealed. What appears on the outside of the concealment is an entirely alternate reality. We see ourselves as being powered by people and things; we feel that we are dependent on them. We twist and stretch and eventually lose touch withh ourselves to accommodate that dependency. We give away our ability to choose what we will do and not do with our time, resources and energy.

Since seeing is believing, the alternate reality is what we naturally believe. The Alter Rebbe guides us to understand that dependency on anything or anyone other than Hashem is simply delusional. The Alter Rebbe advises us to take the time of prayer every morning and evening to reflect upon the truth about the source of our empowerment and connect to it on a deep level. Indeed, chassidus teaches us that prayer is not just about asking Hashem to hear us. It’s about asking ourselves to hear Hashem. Taking the time to think about an idea helps us integrate the idea into our mindsets.

When we walk through our day remembering that we are powered exclusively by G-d, we can relate to the people in our lives from a place of strength and dignity – not from a place of dependence and neediness. We can use the many things around us and engage in physical activities purposefully and meaningfully, without losing ourselves in the process. When we are faced with pain or challenge, we can remind ourselves of our G-dly empowerment and we can be sure that He is saying, “You go, girl!”

Forming a Personal Connection

Our G-dly soul is our quintessential internal battery that enables every aspect of our lives to work. We are blessed when we can turn to other people for advice, support, validation and love. We are blessed when we have food, when we acquire a beautiful home or when we enjoy an energizing vacation. But in going about our lives, we dare not forget that our essential empowerment and life-force – the blessing without which we would have no other blessing – is the Yisroel within us.

When a phone isn’t working properly, checking the battery is the first step in the process of trouble shooting. Similarly, when our lives aren’t working, the first place to work with is our internal battery – our soul. Chassidus teaches us that our soul gets recharged by being connected to its source within Hashem. Whenever we feel sad, worried or needy in any kind of way, we can envision our battery signal blinking: Power up. Plug into G-d. He is not just a Power out there in the world. He is within you, wanting you to reach out for His strength. His Power radiates every ounce of strength and vitality within us. And He is Infinite.

Practical tools for applying the Alter Rebbe’s guidance

• Become aware of the values that drive your daily choices and decisions. Ask yourself, “What’s the thought behind my choice? Why is this important to me? Is this thought or behavior consistent with my G-dly dignity and empowerment? Don’t lose yourself in being driven by any other person or thing. Let go of the ideas that contradict your exclusive dependence on G-d. Let your dependency on Hashem drive you.
• Take every need to Hashem first. Before reaching out for help from others, turn to G-d. Turn every sigh into a prayer.
• Stop taking on the judgments of others. Stop making it a goal to win friends and generate approval. This minute, He is powering your life – His approval is signed and sealed. You are already perfectly worthy. We have only One to serve, only One to please, only One set of rules of play by. We are dependent on nothing and no one other than G-d.
• Proactively establish G-d as your personal Power and life-force. Ask yourself: If I truly believed that I am dependent exclusively on G-d, what would be different in my life? How would I relate differently to myself? How would I relate differently to my spouse / child / family members / friends? What would I do more? What would I do less?
• Proactively strengthen your awareness of being dependent on G-d by expressing your gratefulness to Him for everything good in your life.

In conclusion…

No matter what’s going on in our lives, we can rise above the chaos of delusional dependency right now. We can start absorbing the truth about who we are; the truth about our infinite empowerment. We can clear out the junk that contradicts the truth and let the truth take hold in our minds and hearts. We can thus feel the joyous, infinite G-dly energy that is at this very moment, pulsating within every fiber of our being. We access this incredible empowerment by thinking about the Alter Rebbe’s explanation of the words as we say them, one by one:שמע ישראל ה’ אלקינו ה’ אחד. Listen. You are a Yisroel. Regardless of anything or anyone, you can rise above your limitations. You are powered by G-d. And no matter what else is going on, no matter where you are in your life, He is One with you.

Post Script:

My father relates:

Once when I went into yechidus with the Lubavitcher Rebbe, the Rebbe turned to my daughter and asked her what she learns in school. My daughter, a first grader at the time, proudly shared that she learns chumash. The Rebbe asked her which Parsha she’s learning. “Breishis.”

“What did Hashem create on the first day?”

“Light,” came the quick and eager response.

“Where is there light?”

My daughter looked out through the window where the evening sky had shrouded the world in darkness. She pointed to the street light. The Rebbe shook his head and repeated the question. “Where is the light?” My daughter pointed to a different street light in the other direction. The Rebbe again shook his head and said, “Where is the light?” The little girl kept looking outside the window. The Rebbe pointed to the small lighting fixture in the center of the room. The Rebbe smiled and said, “Here is the light!”

We are so trained to look outside of ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re missing something important. The first place to look for light is within.

But it takes a Rebbe to remind us of that truth. The entire world revolves around commercialism; it’s all about creating external lighting. We are trained to think that the bigger the light, the more it glitters and sparkles, the better it is. Imported is always more impressive than home grown. The voice of Torah and chassidus reminds us of the light we carry within. And every time we learn chassidus, it helps us tune our internal dials to the frequency of Truth.